Are you BIG mad or little mad?

Hey my people!  Keep your eyes right here on the screen because there’s a message for you. As promised, we’ll be working on becoming whole in our souls and I have some very important information for you or for somebody you know who may be struggling with anger.  Possibly, this person is showing signs of anger eating at them from the inside out without even knowing the root cause. 

Intrigued?  

Keep reading. 

Anger is a violent passion of the mind excited by real or imagined injury which is usually accompanied by the desire to get even.  Anger can be present because of something that actually happened or something that your mind accepts as real which starts a snowball of physical and emotional changes.  If not directed properly, or if prolonged, anger can cause serious problems. 

Think about a baby, for example.  A baby is totally dependent on his caregivers for everything.  Can a baby speak fresh out into the world?  No, a baby cannot speak; but, a baby does communicate his desires.  Many times the baby communicates through crying. If a baby cries because he’s hungry, wet, sleepy, or ill and he is attended to, usually you get a pleasantly adjusted baby. However, if a baby does not get the response that it expects, that cry transforms from fear to disappointment to anger! Ya’ll know what I’m talking about.  You know the mad cry where the poor baby loses air and the cry pauses until oxygen is restored and then a scream ensues?  I see you nodding your head because you know what I’m talking about. 

The same is true of all of us.  Although we may not be crying aloud or scream crying because our hurt has been prolonged and our expectations were not met, we may be silently screaming inside because there’s pain in our souls which has turned into anger.

You see, anger is a secondary emotion. It’s not the root cause.  Just like the baby didn’t start off angry, neither did you! Possibly, you had an expectation that was unmet.  Potentially you’ve been disappointed about something and it’s lasting so long that now you’re angry about it.  Maybe, somebody’s been picking at your trigger points for awhile and you’ve been suppressing your true feelings for fear that your response wouldn’t be appropriate.  However, that suppression has turned into unexpressed anger. Whew!

Anger is also a signal emotion.  Anger is a sign that something is off.  Anger is like a fever.  It’s the symptom, not the cause.  It’s the alert that there’s a virus or an infection lurking somewhere that needs to be addressed.  The fever is the sign that the immune system is trying to work on the real problem. The same is true with anger.  By the time the signal comes—anger—your soul is working to try and release the primary discomfort.  Again, you have to get to the root.   

Anger is also a substitute emotion.  The real issue may be hurt.  The real issue may be prolonged disappointment or frustration. The real issue may be unmet expectations. Anger steps in like a basketball player off the bench to play the game.  Even more, anger sometimes helps its possessor to exert control in situations where control has been lost. In other words, “this situation is beyond my control so I’m going to express my anger in order to regain momentum.”  In such a case, anger provides a false sense of protection in passive aggressive and overtly aggressive ways.

Take a breath… a really deep one. 

Then, grab a mirror.  Take a long, hard look at yourself. Did any of hose identifying factors sound like you?  If so, you’ll want to rock with me this month because we will do more than just identify what’s happening in our souls.  We will be giving out free tools to assist us in becoming whole in our souls. We’re addressing anger first.